


Fight

by Schneezed



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post October 4th, Tears, i’m depressed so i made the boys sad too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 09:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schneezed/pseuds/Schneezed
Summary: It’s raining in Iwatodai tonight; Akihiko broke.
Relationships: Aragaki Shinjiro/Sanada Akihiko
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Fight

It’s raining again today; they say it’s a storm, that it won’t be gone til’ the end of the week. Most people are huddled indoors, close to the fire, curtains drawn as they bundle up for the winter. 

Winter. It’s still weird to say. Time almost feels like it hasn’t passed, like… I’m not moving. But I am. I’m here, watching everything change. Everything grow. Everything fall apart. Laying a hand on Akihiko’s chest, I curl up to him, though we don’t touch. It’s still cold no matter how close I get. 

His eyes are barely open. Bloodshot edges and bags beneath them, it looks like it’s been days since he last slept. And it has; he refuses to let his guard down. Ever since the fourth, Aki hasn’t stopped training. Even school seems to be taking a back seat. All those days where he told me - no, berated me - for staying home. For refusing to go. And, here he is, doing the same. 

I’d call him pathetic if I didn’t understand. He’s scared, anyone would be. Throughout the dorm, everyone’s quiet, words are rare. No one wants to talk about it. How Strega keep winning, about how…

It’s unlikely we’ll ever get to see a victory. 

He punched the TV tonight. Every news station was talking about Gekkoukan and the recent suicides; and, then, about your’s truly. Was there a connection? Was I a victim, or a guilty killer? His knuckles are shredded but he doesn’t seem to care. Aki merely thumbs at the bandages, watching the red gradually spread. He shifts in place, pulling the sheets tighter. He sniffles his nose, a tear running down his cheek. “...You can’t keep going like this. You know that, right?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he just stares through me. Eyes glazed over. 

I lean in, planting a kiss on his forehead; I know he can’t feel it but it’s something. It’s better to be here than out there. He needs me, right there, with him. It isn’t fair to leave him like this. To leave him alone. 

Yet, he chooses it anyway. There’s a small stain beneath his head, made of the tears he’d shed throughout the day. It’s only Thursday, it hasn’t even been a week yet, and he’s already given up. No, that’s not the right way to say it. He’s still fighting. Punching, and punching, and punching like his life depends on it. Or maybe Aki isn’t worried about his life anymore. Maybe he’s like me, now. A terrible life choice, honestly. 

“Is there anything I can say… Anything I can do that would just…” Looking back at him, my lip begins to quiver. It has been years since I’d cried in front of him. Even though he can’t see it, I still feel embarrassed. Yet it hurts that bit more that Akihiko doesn’t know. “...Why can’t you look at me?”

I knew the answer. It’s something I had to remind myself, again and again, on a daily basis. It’s not something you get used to. Aki’s taking this worse than I am. It’s not surprising, but… He doesn’t deserve the pain. He shouldn’t have been there. If I had just held it in longer, stopped Ken from seeing me-!

…

…

...There’s no point. I know I’m to blame, but screaming and begging for someone to admit it wasn’t helping. Then again, nothing I did was helping, right?

What use is a ghost?

Slowly, I rise out of the bed; head spinning, chest heaving, I dry my eyes. Droplets still fall yet they don’t stain the fabric like Akihiko’s.

With each step I take towards the door of his dorm room, my feet only feel heavier. 

“...Hey.” He can't hear you. There’s no point. But I want to scream it from the rooftops, cry it out for all the world to hear, even if I only need him to hear. He wants to give in to apathy. Yet he doesn’t. He stays strong for Mitsuru, because she needs a friend. He stays strong for Ken, because he needs a role model. He stays strong for Junpei, because he’s the guy’s hero. He stays strong for Minato, because he wants to prove there's a point to living, even if he can’t find it himself. 

I look back, just… one last time. And those words - the ones I should’ve told him years ago - slip out.

“I love you.”

And, just like the rain in the sunlight, I am gone. Nothing but a sensation. Nothing but a memory. 

I just hope… Was I a good one?


End file.
